Finding peace+contentment while building a business

A common narrative that I’ve heard among entrepreneurs includes an internal dialogue like

“If only I have made $1,000, then I can prove that this is possible”
“If only I have made $10,000, then it would be impressive
“If only I have made $100,000, then it would can go full-time”
“If only I have made $1,000,000, then I would have a global impact”

And the list of “if only” goes on and on… and it never ends 

Especially in today’s business world where success is only governed by numerical and external metrics, it is easy to feel like there is always someone who is further ahead of you and that where you are is never enough. 

The mind may respond to this by saying “but it keeps us going! It keeps us motivated!”

But does it really?

From what I’ve seen, among myself as well as my clients, I’ve learned that this not-enoughness (i.e. discontentment) rather does the opposite. Because you feel like the present moment is not enough, it also makes you feel like you are not enough, that you don’t have enough— in order to get to where you want.

Yet a lot of people keep running on this hamster wheel of discontentment, trying to search for a moment when they will ever be enough. Yet the glimpses of happiness are never lasting, no matter how hard you work.

This is because pushing yourself to achieve because you are currently un-happy where you are now only leads us to discovering more things you are unsatisfied and unhappy about. In other words, we create more of the feelings that we are creating from.

Which is why I want to present you today— a few of my realizations that led me to experience contentment in the present moment and building a business from there. It’s a way of blossoming in our businesses, like flowers relishing their nectar and ripening without hurry, while attracting bees at their own pace, without worry. 

The magic of wishing where you are now

Unlike with our goals where we are always wishing for more, rarely do people wish for more in terms of our age (aka to be older).

I mean kids do want to grow up, but as soon as we reach adulthood, we idolize youthfulness and therefore wish we remain at a youthful age forever—thanks to deceptions of the cosmetic industry.

Where I’m getting at with this is this– that our brains have been programmed to wish for things we don’t have right now.

This keeps society “functioning”, aka capitalism thriving because of our unmet needs and desires keep appearing constantly. Where even if one desire is achieved, another one then pops up.  

Knowing this, here’s how you can reverse engineer your way to experience abundance (i.e. fulfillment) now.

Imagine the 80 year old version of you wishing to experience the things that your current version of you is NOT proud of. By doing so, you are creating a cognitive dissonance, making your brain see the gifts of this moment right now instead. Although you may not be happy with where you are for certain things, your future version at 80 years old would wish she is again in your shoes, just to experience it again. 

Notice what aspects of your current life she would treasure the most. Perhaps it is being at a beginner-budding phase of a business, or facing a certain scaling block within your business. Notice how you at your 80 year old would do things differently if she has to experience this moment again and the new wisdom that comes with it.  

Dig deeper than numbers​

Whenever we are idealizing the next milestone in the business, we are only blindsighted to just a number and nothing else. We think if we just have that milestone (numeric outcome) life would be so much better. 

What we do not see is that even if we have achieved that $$ milestone, there are many other factors beyond those numbers that will affect your happiness. When we are seeing someone celebrate achieving certain numbers/milestones within their business, what we are seeing is only the surface level of their life. For example, you have no idea how other parts of their life looks like– eg. their marriage, their relationship to themselves, if their hearts feel good in their spiritual life etc.

I have personally noticed this within my own entrepreneurial journey. Before, I would idolize certain people with how big and successful their businesses are, only to find out later that what they actually have are not exactly what my soul wants. 

As for example, I would feel behind when I was comparing my success to other coaches early on, whenever they would pride off their “success” by claiming big numbers on social media. Later, I realized that I feel behind because I was looking only at their numbers on the outer shell but now HOW they did it get there. 

For example, some coaches achieved those numbers because their business model includes having several 1:1 calls and constant pitching/launching which would personally make me feel overwhelming. And as a sensitive feminine soul myself, I realized that this way of building a business is not sustainable for me. Rather, my soul preferred a different way of building a business– as in spending more time in deep flow-state of writing blog posts, while making income through provided self-paced courses and just a few clients that I communicate on a daily basis. 

So whenever you are having a hard time comparing yourself to others and feeling behind, dig deeper than the numbers. Most of the time, we feel discontentment with our lives/business, it is because we are comparing ourselves against someone else’s results but not their processes. Once you realize that you are meant to succeed through a different process, you then become more focused on your own path.

Focus on quality over quantity

Most people do not feel enough where they are because they don’t realize the power of being small. Success is only associated with going big (e.g. more virality, more income, bigger team) but what we don’t see is that whenever we shoot for going big as fast as possible, things can go crumbling down fast as well.

It’s like bodybuilders taking steroids; they go big fast by getting the “juice”, what we don’t see is that those who are on steroids are more likely not live long too!

Just like that, in business, people think that every “juice” (aka business strategy) that makes you grow as fast as possible is good. When the truth is, those quantum-leap strategies may not even be what you actually want– i.e. not being aligned with your heart/soul, especially because you didn’t have sufficient time to ponder, reflect, and ground in your work. 

The truth is, there is more opportunity to focus on quality, over quantity when you are small. 

This is what I am doing with my current blog. As of now, I could be wishing to be like bigger bloggers raking in tens of thousands of dollars each month from their blog but instead, I choose to embrace the smallness, and provide stellar quality through providing quality value for my smaller focused niche of creative entrepreneurs. And instead of being focused on growing numbers only, I care more about creating the website a quality experience: the kind that looks and feels like a fairy wonderland. 😊 I am a firm believer that growth simply happens from producing quality work consistently overtime. 

…. 

When your mission is to impact others through your business, it is easy to look at how others are impacting people and feel like we have a long way yet to go. But every time your mind goes into this comparison mode, remember dear one, that your soul doesn’t just want to create a “successful” business, she wants to create a business that she wholeheartedly loves.  Such is not possible when we are always on a rush to be somewhere else, trying desperately out of fear and frustration, rather than with the planting the most deliciously prosperous garden with all the tools and seedlings that are available right now. 

Love,
CM