How an identity crisis can lead to freedom

Identity crises are uncomfortable. Yet they are natural phenomena where our soul experiences growth.  

Whenever you go through one, one of the striking things that you may experience is the feeling of being lost— not knowing who you are, where you are heading, or even know what you really want 

This happens whenever we go through big life changes that shake up the ground of our being, as in a relationship breakup, losing a job/status, or having an accident etc.

Identity crises may also happen for no reason. Sometimes your spirit just outgrows the people, the possessions, the things around you. 

Perhaps you may find yourself not being as excited about the things that you used to excite you before. Perhaps you may find yourself questioning the things you used to do. And perhaps you may find yourself asking big questions like— what the purpose of your life is, who are you really, what happens after death etc. 

I’ve been through multiple identity crises myself throughout the 26 years I’ve been on earth, one of which included the death of my father and the other which was after my business failed as a fitness coach. And recently it was burning my spiritual business to the ground. 

And I know it’s not easy. 

Yet, everytime I look back, I see how there is nothing as transformative, as profound, and as freeing as much as an identity crisis. 

I know this is hard to see if you are in the midst of one. But from going through a fair share of identity crises myself, I want to share with you my reflections on how the darkness of an identity crisis can offer glimmers of miraculous sunshine for our souls on the other side.

From my heart to yours. 

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• You learn the power of letting go

Our minds are afraid of the word letting go. Because it feels like emptiness, losing control, and perhaps even death. 

And this is why identity crises feel scary. It is because during an identity crisis, life is taking the things you thought were you(rs) away. Going through an identity crisis is like stripping off tight old clothes. You may experience discomfort during the process yet, after the phase of letting the constricting clothes fall away, you experience tremendous relief and freedom. Like you can finally breathe again.  

This is what identity crises teach us. It teaches the power of stripping things off (aka letting go).

the more you learn to let go of our expectations to outcomes and attachments we have to people/things, the more you exude an aura of unconditional love (which is so attractive for the people/things that are meant to be yours).

This is because when you no longer cling yourself to anything/anyone and instead create space for things/people to naturally come to you. 

• Your self-worth expand beyond titles 

Before an identity crisis your self-worth may be tied to certain achievements and identities (e.g., 7 figure business owner, an Olympic athlete, a real estate investor etc.). 

However, let’s say these titles get taken away all of a sudden due to a sudden life change. Then we experience pain because our worth+ our identity is attached to these titles. When the truth is, you are infinitely worthy just for being you, regardless of what you have achieved. And identity crises allow us to experience your truth Divinely-gifted worth. When we operate from this inner knowing, no outside circumstance can inflict upon you, for you show up in the world as a miracle being you are. 

• You realize that you are greater than who you thought you were 

When you are no longer attached to a fixed identity, you are able to expand and go further beyond who you thought you were. What I mean by that is, your growth becomes unlimited as a soul (and even as a business owner) because you are unafraid to do things that are beyond the edge of your previous identity. 

This was especially noticeable for me whenever I graduated out of graduate school and then went on working full-time in my business. Previously, I was attached to the identity of being “a grad student working part-time on business” and so I did not think of things like long-term sustainability (as in writing blog posts), creating passive income generating products etc. like a real business owner. 

Your soul-aligned growth in life+business can only become limited to who you believe you are. When you do realize that you are more than ‘one thing’ and are one with everything (Universe/Source/God), you experience true limitlessness. 

• You become free to express your true Self

Although our identities can help us gain confidence to an extent, they can also be like golden cages that trap our souls, suppressing us from expressing our true selves. 

Consider this example where a business owner is afraid of pivoting her niche to something else that brings her joy because she is afraid of losing her identity related to past income. Although she may be burnt out and uninspired in her business, she may be working on maintaining the former identity even though her work may be causing strain to her mental and emotional well-being. 

Just like that, when we are attaching ourselves to certain identities, no matter how high-end, luxury-looking they are, we limit who we are and the true magic that we are meant to create. We suppress our hearts from impacting others in our most authentic, profound way that is meaningful to us. 

But after moving through identity crises ourselves, we see that our true selves as well as our soul purpose are beyond any identity we can imagine. We become unafraid to dance in the wilderness among the wildflowers and carve out new trails that the world has yet to see. You go beyond the rubrics and constricts of your mind and instead let your life be led by your heart. And all success becomes a just matter of experiencing this inner joy within, instead of an identity without. 

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Having an identity crisis is just one way of re-discovering who you really are. Just like how the ocean discovers that she is not just a drop of water but instead is the entire body of water, your soul gets to experience her infinite nature whenever we go through identity crises. And through that realization that you are infinite, everything gets accomplished.

“Sometimes when you lose your way in a fog, you end up in a beautiful place” —Mehmet Murat Idan