How to design a life of fulfillment

As sensitive souls, it’s common to find ourselves wanting “more” than just what looks good in the eyes of others. To most people (at least from what we see on social media), just having a nice house and a car may seem to make them happy. But to you it can feel like your soul wants to feel more full and whole inside…

As in waking up each morning excited to do what you love.
Or having deep and meaningful relationships where you feel totally seen and loved.
Or experiencing profound beauty and interconnectedness.

To you, life is about something deeper— more than just a status or numbers.

Rather, you want to feel a sense of “enough-ness”— not just in a moment of achievement but in every living moment.
You want to experience richness in all of life— even when you’re talking a walk outside or when you’re washing dishes.
You want to go to bed each night knowing you’ve lived your fullest.
In other words, you want to live a life of fulfillment,.

It’s like if you were to die tomorrow, you knew you have lived your life without regrets. It is a life where you’re in love with exactly where you are.

And I totally understand that desire because I’ve been deeply unfulfilled in my life before…

From feeling caged by my 9-5 job to feeling ‘behind’ in my business. 
And being caught up in a hamster wheel of chasing for more (followers/money) yet never feeling that it’s enough.
Then to not even know what it is that I wanted in my life anymore…. 

But this sense of being lost, with an inner “void”, also led me to a whole new journey of finding who I am and what makes me fulfilled. And I’m happy to say that I’ve more or less gotten to the other side of it, where I don’t just experience fulfillment in my own life, but also in the lives of my clients.

And so I thought I would share with you here today, on how I’ve found fulfillment in my own life, and how to design a life that leads to it, so you can experience the depth that your soul is looking for…

Find your values beyond your goals

One of the patterns I see, whenever sensitive souls lose the sense of inner fulfillment in life, it’s because we got carried by our “goals” that we don’t even know who we are (and what we want) anymore.

This is especially true in the hyper-masculine, goal-oriented, self-development world of the modern culture. With everyone else on social media aiming for big goals, titles, and achievements, it’s easy to feel like you also need that too in order to be happy and satisfied in life.

While there’s nothing wrong with having goals per se, what I’ve learned however, is we become unfulfilled when our goals are not true to who we are.

It’s when we’re chasing after goals just for the sake of getting there to the top/the end goal the “fastest” way rather than attuning to what it is that we love. We become obsessed with “getting” to a goalposts rather than experiencing joy in the journey itself.

To sensitive souls, this way of living can be deeply unfulfilling because now we become disconnected to our hearts.

Instead, we end up chasing for surface-level things— like doing for the sake of getting other people’s validation, a status, or a social identity— all of which feels unsatisfying, regardless of how much we earn. We also end up feeling a “lack” like until we get to the goal posts, we can’t be happy yet.

Which is the reason why connecting All of this unfulfillment happens because we become disconnected to our values, for the sake of achieving goals. In other words, become disconnected to the things that matter most to us— even more than the metrics, numbers, and the goal itself.

Your values are what you have always wanted deep down, beyond the external validations of success.

Unlike with goals where you only experience a sense of achievement once in a while, with values you can experience accomplishment by living in accordance with them everyday. 

In other words, to live by your values is to be fulfilled by the process of living/ taking action, rather than only attaching to the outcome. This is what leads to wholesome success (i.e., success that is more than just what people see on the outside but what you feel inside).

For example, your goal may be to run a million dollar business empire but if you are only driven by goals, it soon leads to burnout, overwhelm, dissatisfaction in the strategies you perform etc.

But if the reason why you show up everyday is because of a value you desire to live everyday (e.g., values like creativity, freedom, and service), every moment of your day becomes an exciting opportunity to experience and live.

Some journaling prompts for you to live in alignment with your values:

• Why do you want to achieve the goals you currently have? (Continue asking yourself “why” until you distill down to a few single word answers. Picture an image in your mind’s eye that makes you happy. Why does it do so? How does it reflect your values?).

• How can you live out & experience your values today?

• On a scale of 1-10, how fulfilled are you? If it is not a 9 or 10, what is off from your values?

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Maintain an inner balance​

To me, living a life of fulfillment means to experience a fullness from within--A fullness that comes from the balance of in-pouring and out-pouring of life force energy…
A balance of giving and receiving.
A balance of creating and consuming.

We experience discontentment when one of the either functions are limited, or we think are limited. 

For example, one could be over-giving others time, energy, resources, but feel empty because it is unreciprocated in return.

Conversely, one could receive an abundance of insights/ideas through consuming, but feel empty when the ideas are not shared with others. 

The latter is the reason why I had to begin writing a blog because my soul has been receiving a flood of wisdom/insights that living another day without sharing them online feels stagnating– like a drain that’s been blocked. 

So you can begin asking yourself what a life of inward balance looks like to you.

That is, an inward balance that cannot be found by looking at anyone else but only felt through your own inner being. An inward balance that feels good to you physically, mentally, spiritually– in all states of being.

Journaling prompts for inner balance:

• If you were a fountain, what would lead you to overflow to others more? On the other hand, are things that would drain you?

• Look at one area of your life where you feel discontent. In what ways are you leaking your life force energy? In what ways are you blocking your channel instead of flowing?

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Practice the Art of Contentment​

In the hustle-grind, over-masculinized society where only our achievements and outward perceptions are lauded, it is hard to feel content with wherever we are now. 

We always feel like we need to constantly be doing/achieving for us to have "success". We always feel that pressure to go bigger, wider, faster, with any pursuits we aim for, never fully appreciating the joy of the small steps.

When we are approaching life from this perspective, life can feel depleting, disatisfying, and unfulfilling real fast. Especially for sensitive souls, this way of outward-focused living does not honor the deeper need of inner realms-- which thrives on finding beauty, connection, and contentment within the process.

It's like forcing an artist to paint as many paintings as possible to compete with an AI. If we are only focused on what we achieve, we cannot bring our inner-most aliveness into what we create/bring forth, thus we cannot feel fulfilled. 

To a sensitive soul, experiencing beauty and depth is just as important, if not even more important, than having a life with a list of "things" checked off. Finding beauty within the process of work itself, is a momentous joy that breaths life-force into us. 

Fulfillment is just like a flower, that blossoms when your heart is filled with beauty and wonder.

Journaling for feeling fulfilled through the art of contentment:

• How can you move through life like it is an art rather than a chore?  

• How is your presence blessing the world around you?

• What is the truth and beauty of who you actually are?

And of course by no means is living a fulfilling life a result of a checklist you follow. Nor it is a life you create by copying the online influencers you look up to.

Each and every soul has a unique path and way of living that’s fulfilling to you.

Which is why the key is to understand what it is that makes YOU light up + living in alignment with your true Self. By doing so, you aren’t living a life that only looks good but doesn’t feel good. Instead, you are living a life where the present moment feels so good you wouldn’t wish to be anywhere else.

In fact, this kind of a happy, fulfilling life is what I help my clients experience in all aspects of life: in relationships, career, business, and love life. To learn more about it (while receiving clarity for your life path), book a free healing session here.