Why you may be resisting certain copywriting techniques (Why they feel ICKY to you as a sensitive soul)

I used to think that just because a marketing strategy promises to getting clients “fast,” it is the key to blow up my business.

I would hire coaches who lead with such claims in their marketing, only to find out that I just couldn’t speak and write like they do… and I just didn’t know why…

I thought that it was because I had a “block” or a “limiting belief.” I thought I wasn’t owning my power. I thought I was the one who just didn’t have the capacity to “do what it takes” to get to new heights of success in my business.

And so I forced myself to speak, write, and talk about my offers like them. Turns out, despite selling out my offers, I hated the way I was showing up. I hated the reasons why my clients wanted to work with me and I hated the business I was building.

And so I decided to burn it all down…

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So many women who are intuitive, sensitive, and emotionally perceptive may resonate with this feeling : where you know you “should” do something to get to outcomes, yet you have a gut instinct that something is not right… 

In your business, this looks like logically knowing the HOW to get clients, however, a part of you fights back with a quiet voice that says “don’t force me into doing something I don’t want to…”

It is easy to ignore this voice, especially in this outcome-focused day and age where only achievements are prioritized. It is easy to bypass how you actually feel about something and chase the allure of quick success. 

When the truth is, this voice is telling you that there is another way.

A way that doesn’t involve abandoning your truths, your feelings, and your inner wisdom in order to get clients. A way that doesn’t involve forcing yourself to do something you whole-heartedly don’t desire just to get to success. The voice tells us that there is an alternative, a more natural route to our desires.

Yet, it’s so easy to neglect this voice because we see so many people claiming millions from the methods that do not feel good to our hearts. And they appear to portray their happy and perfect lives (at least on social media) which makes us feel “wrong” to have bad feelings about their methods/ approaches. 

From my experience, I have learned that there are deeper reasons on why this is all happening among feminine beings…

There is a reason why you feel icky, conflicted, and disheartened when it comes to writing certain types of content.

There is a reason why it feels like you can “never have enough” money/clients when you use these methods.

And there is a reason why your soul doesn’t light up when you force yourself to write in these methods.

Below are some of my observations.

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Condescending language & tone

With marketing tactics that are out of integrity with our hearts, there is a harsh, condescending tone to them, such as…

“This is why you’re struggling to get clients… “
“This is why your relationship is falling apart…”
“This is killing your business” etc.

They seize your attention by highlighting your pain points, dramatize the image of you struggling, and then position themselves as the only savior to your problems. 

There is nothing wrong with bringing up the pain of our audience. In fact, if done in a compassionate way, it can help the audience feel seen, heard, and understood. This is a concept I am teaching in my upcoming course. 

However, with messages with a condescending tone, there is usually an element of pain-poking–i.e. Highlighting the psychological pain points of the audience and triggering intense emotions that are often rooted in fear, inadequacy, or unmet needs. It can even sound as though the marketer is shaming the audience for having certain problems. 

What I’ve learned is that all that pain-poking, shaming, and derisive positioning of yourself in your messaging often leads to customers who buy out of disempowerment.

This is when clients see themselves as victims, putting you into a position of the savior, triggering your martyr complex. Because the tone of marketing suggests that they can’t solve their problems without your help, it leads to clients forever depending on you (in a needy way) and not being able to trust themselves. 

Making every post about you and your “dream life”

I used to be an innocent girlie who thought that if I see a coach celebrating his/her wins, it’s because their life must be genuinely good.

But what I can’t unsee, once I began posting a lot of “how-amazing-my-life-is” posts is this pressure to use your “dream life” as a bait for people to work with you. Not because of the wisdom you are sharing, nor because of the confidence in results you can provide, but simply because of the grandiose image you’ve painted for yourself online. 

And walking on this path is empty and unfulfilling. It feeds on the thinking that “if you just impress enough people, they will buy what you offer.”

It makes you continually seek for validation (through either engagement or immediate sales) and never leads to satisfaction in your core authentic being. 

One of the reasons why this happens is because as coaches, we become trapped into self-glorification (i.e. glorifying our own egos) to make people buy rather than glorifying our hearts/ service to others (and essentially, glorifying God). 

And the ego may say: 

“Well, if I show off how good my life is, then people will buy from me and that equals ‘service.’”

But truly I have discovered that even when there is a single thought of impressing someone else through your marketing, it sucks the wholeness of how good it feels to be of service, in your work with clients whom you are most excited to abundantly serve… 

Overemphasis on results

I remember being told by a coach that I need to speak extravagantly of the results I offer in every headline in order to catch people’s attention,=.

For example, starting every post with sentences like:
“This is how I made $x money in y weeks”
“If you want to manifest your soulmate, this is what you need to do asap”
“Stop scrolling if you are looking to x10 your income next month“ etc.

We’ve all seen posts like these. And the reason why they are so common is because they work: on the primal, fear-based part of our brains. They trigger FOMO by overemphasizing instant results, making you swipe your credit cards in a rush for adrenaline. 

As an intuitive, feminine being, you may have been told to use it in your marketing or have even fallen for purchases like that in the past (I sure have made a fair share of it myself).

Yet, you may find yourself feeling icky/ being resistant around using them.

That’s because deep down, you are intuitively sensing the fear-based, scarcity-based responses that are imposed on your potential buyers whenever you use them. 

Your soul wants you to write content in a way that represents your true essence: unforced, gentle, and radiant, in your own unique way, and use them as the magnetic force that draws in your people–just as how a flower would gently draw in the bees through her unique scent.

However, with coercive, overly outcome-based marketing tactics, you are pressured to express your truths in ways that may be abrasive to you and are discordant with your true nature. 

And what I’ve learned is that these forceful, coercive ways of writing/selling do not lead to purchases from the heart either. That’s because clients come to you only because they want outcomes but not because they understand and resonate with the specific approach of your work.

This is what often leads to unrealistic or false expectations, leading to unsatisfied customers and buyers’ remorse.

Because people are only drawn to the work because of the mind (i.e. “the shoulds”) but not by their soul resonance, it also leads to attracting just about anyone who desires the things you promise to share, rather than specific type of clients who are most matched to you (your values, your personalities etc.). 

This is not to say that speaking of the outcomes you deliver are not powerful– after all, it’s the reason why people buy something! We invest in things to solve a problem and/or experience a certain feeling/ receive an outcome. 

However, when you use your wisdom, values and philosophy as your strong points (rather than just outcomes), the type of clients who come to work with you understand more deeply about you/your work (rather than just outcomes), and thus are more fun/easier to work with.

Overtime, only the latter that focuses on attracting customers from heart over the head, leads to building a healthy, sustainable success. 

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As an energy-receptive, highly intuitive woman myself, I have come to a realization that even reading other people’s posts using the icky, coercive, forceful marketing strategies can impact how we fully express ourselves in our business. 

For example, there have been times when I would look at certain people’s profile to study why these marketing strategies did not feel right for me (some of whom were my past mentors which I am thankful for these experiences).

And I remember, a few days after that, I would not be able to post anything. Whenever I intend to write posts, my mind would stop my ideas from flowing through easily, so my channel then feels like a broken faucet. Things I have healed long ago, such as self-dout and lack of self-trust would surface up. 

Looking deeper, I saw how these harsh, forceful strategies (even reading the way they sounded) were blocking my throat chakra, and so to many other souls– especially creative souls who desire to express fully and wholeheartedly in their business. 

That’s because feminine beings, marketing is more than just about making money and getting clients. 

To us, there is a deeper desire to connect and to express, in ways that are unique to our true soul essence. For example, some souls may desire to bring in clients through evoking emotions like playfulness, while some souls desire to evoke gentle elements like softness and kindness.

And when we are all forced to the one-size-fits-all approach of speaking in “authoritative”, harsh ways of writing/speaking, we sacrifice our souls to be someone we are not, while losing the real truths/real gifts that we are meant to impact our clients with. 

It is only when we become fully free to express how we most want (rather than what we are forced to), that marketing becomes a medicine that cures our creative hearts….

This is where you not only experience the fullness from living in alignment with your soul purpose, but also building business in a way that is most joyous for you to build…with customers who choose you because your natural expression is unique, rare, original, perhaps even the kind where they may have never even witnessed…

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P.S. If you are a feminine soul who craves authentic expression in your marketing where you can let your heart be free and naturally speak to the right clients, 

I will be launching a Free 10-day mastermind this spring for unleashing your creative expressions to create momentum in online business. The spots are limited to 3 women. If you desire to apply to be considered, you can fill out the form here.