Why I tore down my “successful” business to find my true Self

When your soul is desiring more fulfillment in your life, it is common to find yourself caught in a this-or-that dilemma for the most important things in your life.

Namely, that is between your head vs your heart. That is what you think you “should” do vs. what you actually want to do.

One of the options may appear tempting because it feels like a “safer” option. In other words, it has “worked” in the past, so you feel the tendency to continue it (e.g. a toxic relationship that has worked a “meh” career that has worked etc). But deep down, you actually don’t feel good doing choosing that “safe” option. You want something better. But it’s scary to say yes to it.

And this feeling of a dilemma was exactly what I went through in my business, over the past year. I tore down my dream coaching business just to restart it all over again…

My business (before I tore it down) was well on her way to having my dream of “earning 6 figures.” I was building momentum with my launches and was starting to consistently get clients (after having been “stuck” for years).

Yet, I tore it all down because it didn’t feel good to my soul.
I knew I love coaching (it’s my dream job in the world) but deep down, something didn’t feel right. But back then, I didn’t know what it was.
And so I took a year off from my business because I wanted to listen to what I actually wanted.

….
And let me tell you, it was scary.
My inner child was freaking out inside because she’s like “why did you end something that was working?” “What if you don’t figure it out"?”

But looking back, two years later, I’m so thankful that I did. Because my life (and my business) couldn’t feel any better than how I feel right Now, had I not make those moves.

And so today I wanted to share with you some reflections of what I learned from choosing my soul over my ego’s safe option. I wanted to share with you the delights that come along when you put your true desires first before anything else.

I was following the crowd and doing what other people do

Back when I was building my old business, one thing I realized that made it deeply unfulfilling was that I was so focused on what other people do.

I had a list of social media influencers/business coaches I looked up to. I put them on a pedestal, believing that they were the gods who would save me.

I was trying to mimic every move they make. I was trying to follow every money win, thinking that if I just speak and act like them, people would also buy my programs.

Although it took some time for me to “embody their energy,” it did finally work. Soon I was “flirting” with my prospects who came into my DMs and posting screenshots of them buying my offers (just like how I had been taught to). In other words, I was embodying the sexy, flirty, hyped-up energy that I see the successful coaches on social media doing.

But deep inside, despite the sales, it didn’t feel right. And looking back, now I see that it was because I was following the crowd and was not aware of my own individual uniqueness. Such as, the parts of me that is “nerdy,” “bookish,” “in-depth” which became repressed because I was embodying the energy of someone else.

To the soul, expressing your uniqueness and being different from others is highly important. Because it is how you realize your true Self and your true potential. Otherwise end up losing yourself to the society, as you try to follow the footprints of other people and becoming a replica of someone else.

I was doing what would actually make money the fastest over what I was actually good at

When you’re trying to follow other people (and their “success”) what also happens is that you start to compare yourself to others and judge yourself based on how fast you’re moving.

Which was exactly what happened in my case. I remember often feeling “so behind” compared to other women I saw on social media, and experiencing so much pressure to get to a 6 figure+ business as fast as possible.

But what this external pressure does it that it creates blind-spots in your life. Because you are so focused on the outcomes you produce, you become unaware of what you are actually good at and how you can impact people the most.

Like in my case, because I felt the pressure to make 10k months and above as fast as possible, I began speaking like a business coach (when deep down, it’s not my expertise nor what I’m actually interested in). Because I was seeing money wins mainly from business coaches, I felt like I also had to become one of them in order to be “successful” like them.

When the truth is, my gifts extend beyond that. I’m bad@ss at emotional healing, on top of intuitively channeling exactly what my clients are feeling/going through without them telling me anything. Not to mention my clients telling me often about how they never truly felt content and happy until they began working with me.

But it was hard to realize these true gifts of mine, explore them, and deepen into them when I was feeling the pressure to make money wins as fast as possible. Instead, the pressure only made me feel a “lack” inside which made me feel as though I was never enough.

I was trapped under the chains of what they say I should do to be successful

When I was growing my old business, I remember trying to abide to rules that other people say I should follow.

I was constantly on the lookout for the “best strategy” when it comes to building a business. And so when someone else says I “have to” post every 4 hours to always be in the field of my potential clients’ awareness, I tried to follow that. When someone else says I “have to” write like so and so (or else you will hear crickets), I also tried to follow that.

At the end I was burned out, overwhelmed, and confused. No matter how hard I tried following the rubrics, it always felt like there was more that I was missing out on and that I’m not doing enough.

But now I see why all this confusion and frustration were happening. It was because I was doing things out of fear rather than love.

And it’s common to feel that way because many marketing experts and business coaches these days are using fear to sell their products. Their messages can look like “if you’re not doing xyz, you’re going to be stuck forever” etc. And many people mistakenly think that as truth, which only makes us more confused.

But when you follow your soul (i.e. do what you love), everything is guided, straightforward, and clear. You can see fear-based messages (i.e. non-truth) from 10,000 miles away. And you stray away from these tactics and strategies because they only lead to more confusion, doubt, fear, and stuckness.

I wasn't listening to what I actually wanted

The final (and most important) realization I had was that when I was unfulfilled in my business, I wasn’t actually doing things THE WAY I wanted.

I was doing things as a means to get to an outcome. I was doing things because I saw that’s what other people did. I was doing things to prove to people that I was enough.

However, my focus wasn’t on my inner being. I wasn’t doing THE WAY I wanted and what FELT best to me.

Instead, I was doing things for other people. To be validated by people. To be seen by people. To be wowed by people.

When deep down, what I actually wanted was a business that feels like Home. I wanted a business that feels true to me and feels good for me.

And as I rebuilt this business over the past year, that’s what I did. Instead of focusing on how my business looks like in the eyes of other people, I focused on how I felt. And that led me to rewarding things like:

• no more feeling like I’m a slave to the social media content creation hamster wheel. Instead, I let my writings (written months or even years ago) nurture new audience who come into my world, and be drawn to be work.

• attracting clients not through an image-based marketing but rather wisdom-based marketing. I feel a big weight relieved off my chest as I no longer need to convince people that I’m living “a dream life” on social media to work with me. Instead, now women are booking calls with me because they resonate with my writings which feels wayyy more genuine and less icky to my soul:)

• creating space for long-term over short-term wins. In the past, my “success” was based on short-term metrics like how much I made in my business this month, but now I prioritize metrics that generate long-term success, as in the depth and quality of my services. This leads to referrals and compounding wins over the long haul, rather than relying on the hype of marketing that is only for good short-term.

All in all, I have now built a COZY business that truly feels nourishing, gentle, yet deeply fulfilling to my soul. And that wouldn’t have been possible, had I not listened to my soul— to take a step back, let go of the outside “noise,” and do what my inner being most wants.

Which is why if you’re desiring to build your most awe-inspiring, enchanting life (or business/career) is, I want to end this article with this note:

Your version of success is meant to be unique YOU. Otherwise it’s simply a vision programmed by the masses that actually feels 𝒆𝒎𝒑𝒕𝒚 when you finally get ‘there’

Love,
CM