Heart Chakra Healing Guide: How to experience ecstatic love in your life
The other day I came out of a session with a client and she told me how she has never felt so deeply loved in any of her past relationships, until our session.
She cried happy tears and was in awe of how deeply loved she could feel. And the thing that caught her off guard was– the love wasn’t even coming from “a man”, it was emanating from her.
This is just one of the examples of what happens when you open your heart chakra. You experience the tender embrace of love more deeply than ever before. And this love isn’t felt only from others (i.e. your friends, your partner etc.), you feel it even when you are alone (by yourself). You feel seen, held, and heard. You feel loved for your mere existence.
Life shines forth with glistening technicolors and gems-like radiance when we open the heart. That’s because it is actually the heart (i.e. the spiritual heart) that perceives your experience of life, not our physical eyes. (As an example when my spiritual heart is open, I see the immense beauty of life in great detail even when I’m not wearing my prescription glasses lol). When we open the heart, we cannot help but witness the divine perfection of life.
However, as we experience this human incarnation, it is easy for us to become blocked in our hearts. We experience wounding from our relationships– whether it’s from our parents, or past partners, or even current partners / friendships. We become ridden with fear that people might reject, hurt, or abandon us. We deviate from seeing the Universal love that surrounds us.
So in this blog post, I want to share all things related to healing the heart chakra. First, I will share with you how to know if your heart chakra is blocked, if so how you then open it so you can live a happy, fulfilling life that beams your heart with delight everyday.
1. Signs you have a blocked heart chakra
When you have a blocked heart chakra, it literally feels like there is a “block” in your love life/ relationships.
This can look like meeting people who keep triggering the same emotions in you or feeling like you can’t feel love with people, as deep as you’d like. From my experience (in my own life and with clients), what I’ve seen is that a blocked heart chakra can fall into either one of these two or even both of these two general patterns– striving for love and shielding for love.
Striving for love
One of the ways a blocked heart chakra manifests is in the form of neediness– where you feel like you “need” the love that is outside of you: whether that’s from your crush or your husband or your friends. There is an anxious, grasping energy tied to it (thus, you may also call it the anxious attachment style). It feels like you have to be on the lookout for what the other person does and not be able to trust that they (their love) will always be there.
This way of blockage (i.e. striving for love) happens when excess energy of the heart is trapped in the form of fear.
That is, the fear of being abandoned. It can also be tied to blockages in other chakras. For instance, an imbalance in solar plexus chakras that comes with feeling insecure about yourself leads to striving for love/ neediness.
With this heart chakra blockage, a woman lives under the belief that she isn’t worthy of great love as she is. And so it can feel like you have to work hard (be the one who “fixes” / takes care of others) in order to receive love. It can also feel like you have to carry someone else’s pain (i.e. become a martyr) and try to resolve things for them in order to be loved.
I remember when I grew up with a striving pattern and a blocked heart chakra myself– feeling like I need to achieve big in order to receive love from my dad and needing to be the one who “initiates” to receive attention from my childhood crush.
A striving, blocked heart chakra feels exhausting, and overtime it only leads us to feeling abandoned inside, no matter how hard you try.
Shielding from love
The other way on how the heart chakra gets blocked is through shielding– where you feel like you have to “shield”/”protect” yourself from others, and so to love. There is a pushing away energy to it which you can call it the avoidant attachment style. With this form of heart chakra relationships feel superficial and unfulfilling because people don’t really get to know you… and you don’t really get to know others too.
The root of this heart chakra blockage comes down to having the fear of being hurt by others when it comes to love. There is also fear around expressing emotions– because likely your emotions have been suppressed, humiliated, or neglected as a child.
And so it doesn’t feel safe to experience love and have emotions… especially to experience “dark” emotions (i.e. sadness, rage etc). And so to others you may appear cold and distant, and deep inside you also feel cold and distant.
With this form of heart chakra blockage, a woman lives under beliefs like “true love doesn’t exist”, “nobody can actually love me,” “I just want to be independent” etc. Yet, no matter how hard it is to try to look confident, put-together, and fulfill your own needs, it can feel like there is always something that’s missing in your life… And that is because the heart is longing for love, most importantly, true unconditional love.
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With either pattern of the heart chakra blockages, life feels unsatisfying because you become disconnected to the truth of who you are. Truth is, you are love and all there is in life is love. But until your heart chakra opens, you cannot soak in the goodness of what it means to be alive…
2. How to open your heart chakra
The key to opening your heart chakra, and so experiencing soul-filling, heart-deepening ecstatic love, is not about following a 10-step strategy but about guiding yourself to receive what your heart most needs. Just like how different types of soil require different elements and ratios of nutrients, opening your heart chakra requires different types and expressions of love depending on what your heart needs. Regardless, what I’ve learned is that opening your heart chakra comes down to giving yourself love in through these parts:
Becoming aware of your patterns
The first part to healing anything (regardless of the chakra or the emotion you would like to heal) is to deepen your awareness of it. It’s like loosening the soil before you add nutrients to it.
Because part of the reason is, your awareness is what initiates healing. When you are “blindingly” reacting to what happens in your life, the old patterns of a wounded heart keeps repeating. But when you deepen into what you are feeling in your body and portray the story behind the emotion (which I do intuitively for you in healing sessions), you heal it in a more lasting way.
Like for instance, if you notice yourself being rejected by men that’s just one layer of awareness. But if you dig deeper and see what your inner child is actually going through (for instance through a story/psychic image), you get a grander picture of how and why that pattern has been repeating in your life. This helps you break the pattern and allow you to heal yourself whenever it comes up again.
Un-layering the “wounded” heart
Healing the heart is just like forming relationships– the deeper you go, the more it will last. And so when it comes to becoming aware of our patterns, we want to get to the root of the feelings that we have been resisting and running away from. Because with anything in life, whatever we resist persists. The same goes for your emotions– as long as you are avoiding the pain that you didn’t like in your earlier life, circumstances in your life will happen over and over again so that you can get back to the pain and heal it.
This process of getting to the root of your emotions though, needs to be a very gentle and immaculate process. All-encompassing self-love, compassion, and patience are necessary.
But as you delicately walk through this process, layers and layers of false beliefs that “protected” you from receiving love will be unraveled upon you. Those are false beliefs like “you are unworthy,” “nobody cares about you,” “you don’t matter” etc. But underneath all these layers of protection, you will find your soft, tender, radiant heart, pulsing with one simple desire: to receive unconditional love from you.
Filling yourself with love
Once you’ve got to the core of your heart (and her desires), you are then able to give yourself all the things you wish you had. That includes but not limited to the joy, the care, the abundance of fun– all the things you thought you couldn’t have but deep down wanted.
This may look like repeating words like “I love you even when you fail” or “you’re allowed to be lonely in my body” etc. Or it may look like an embodiment practice where you hold yourself like how you wished your mother would, growing up.
The variety of how love can be expressed through you is endless. Yet, what is most healing to your heart depends on what you heart specifically needs… which is why healing at its core is a very intuitive and creative process.
Opening your Heart’s Intelligence
As you continue giving yourself deep, expansive love, you will arrive at an inner place of safety and serenity. Now, instead of striving and reaching for love, or running away and shielding from love, you get to the state where ‘everything you desire is already here.’ It is like you can finally exhale a deep relief, knowing that you can give yourself the love that you are looking for, anytime you want.
This inner place of safety is where the intelligence of the heart opens up. In fact, the heart has far greater intelligence than the mind and it is the heart that generates electromagnetic fields (5000 times stronger than the brain), connecting us to the Infinite field of the One Universal mind where all things are interconnected.
The heart is how you know what you want, and how you know that what you desire is not far away. That is, you are always connected to your soul-partner, your friends, your loved ones etc., no matter how physically far away they are. And when they are around you, you feel safe to be You too.
3. Heart Chakra affirmations
Below are some of my favorite heart chakra affirmations that can assist you for experiencing whole, all-encompassing love:
I am love
I am loved
I love that I’m sad (or insert another feeling you don’t like experiencing)
I love me even when I fail (or insert a moment you are afraid of feeling/ experiencing
I love you (direct it to what you didn’t like about yourself)
I allow love to flow through me
I speak love
I breathe love
I create love
I trust love
I love life
Life loves me
4. Heart chakra meditation
To assist you in healing your heart chakra (and so experience more love in your life), I’ve also recorded a meditation for you here:
5. Heart chakra opening symptoms
To end this article on a high note, here I want to share with you some of the shifts that you will experience in your life once you begin opening your heart chakra.
And although I titled this section as “symptoms,” know that despite the initial discomfort you may feel during the process of healing, your life will be transformed forever. It’s like you finally wipe off a blurry lens of how you see life—and so you will never see your life the same way again.
Life has more depth to it
When your heart chakra is open, you will experience emotions with more depth and color. You may cry from simply watching a sunset or may sense that someone is feeling sad under their smile. I know empaths do these naturally but this time after your heart chakra is open and purified, you will LOVE feeling it all.
Emotions will become your friends instead of something you’re afraid of. And paradoxically, because you now love emotions, you will be able to let go of emotions easily too. You will become a master emotional alchemist. For every painful emotion, you will be able to transmute that into something that heals, whether that’s art, or wisdom or a more powerful presence. And as you do so, you will experience the bliss of knowing who you are– that you are not the colors of your emotions but are simply an artist who creates with them.
You experience connection to all of life
Because you are more connected to your emotions, you will become more connected to all of life surrounding you– that includes humans, trees, and all other living beings.
Emotions are merely energies passing through us all and you will experience how interconnected we all are. Separation is an illusion of the mind and Oneness is all there is. What you see in others is what you see in yourself, and vice versa. Everything that you see outside of you is actually inside. And through healing your heart, you experience the pulsing heartbeat of the One Infinite God, loving and living through all of us.
You just know it
The more connected you are to your emotions, the more connected you will also be to your intuition. Because intuition (i.e. being psychic) is a matter of being able to read thoughts/ energies that are very subtle and faint– which we all transmit to each other. And when you are able to read your emotions well, you are more aware of energies that you feel in the presence of other people.
Being intuitive looks like knowing what someone else is going to say before they say it, or knowing what someone has been through without having met them before. Or it can look like being able to channel what someone else is feeling deep down or experiencing physical sensations that someone else experiences. There are different types of intuition/psychic abilities that can develop after opening the heart chakra and I talked about how I developed mine in a guide here.
You go through life with ease
When you open your heart chakra, another miracle that happens is that you begin to experience much more ease. Yes, hard things that are beyond our control (specifically our ego’s control) do happen in life but when they do, you do not resist nor deny them, you welcome life in all its glory and wholeness. This is when you experience ever-present peace because you surrender to the Divine who knows what’s even better for you. This is when you see that life wants to love you and take care of you.
In this state of ease, you are able to let go of all “trying.” You find that you don’t ever need to effort, push, and force through life because what wants to be done will be done through you. Your emotions are there to assist you for what needs to be done. All you’ve gotta do is listen to what’s present here, and allow your feelings to initiate your next move. (In fact, this is how I essentially write 1000+ words blog articles, sometimes in one go, because when the energy is present, actions will easily flow).
You get high on life
Lastly, when your heart chakra is open you realize that you need little to be happy. You can be staring at a tiny pond on the side of a road but when your heart is open, it feels like you’re bathing in a waterfall in Bali. All things you want to experience in life become available right here, in this very present moment. And so you stop chasing, constantly looking for “what’s next” and instead savor more deeply of every lived experience.
To me, when my heart chakra is so open, it feels like I’m on ecstasy, except without drugs. You become naturally high on life because you see reality for what it is, without the illusions that create suffering in the mind. Like this one moment I had it captured in my IG story:
Of course, experiencing ecstatic states of being partly depends on how healed you are and partly on the grace of God. But the more purified you are and the more connected you are to your heart, the more frequently you also get to experience blissful mystical states like this. And even if you’re not always “high” with spiritual ecstasy, peace becomes your permanent state of residence. In fact, this is what I help my clients experience. If that’s of interest to your soul, you can book a free healing session here to find out more about it.
